Happy New-ish Year! Or soon-to-be Chinese New Year, whichever you prefer. Your own intrepid, if reluctant, blogger is not much of a resolutioneer. Also, she is not very timely. Still, it is past time to change the content on the top of this blog, so allowance must be made, something must be written!
So it is with this humble mission in mind that I come to you with my PLAN. It is a PLAN to be less of a sissy. More seldom a sniveling poltroon. Quit being such a bland baby. Dust off the chain-mail that my fearless interior lady knight wears and come out of the brave-deed-doer closet (and perhaps also stop using mixed metaphors). Okay, so maybe nothing so brash. BUT! Nonetheless, I have always been a bit scared to do as I pleased, and I have decided to have done with it. What the hell could possibly happen?
“Life expands or contracts in direct proportion to one’s courage.” — Anais Nin
I read the above one morning a few weeks ago and said, “YES! She has idenitified my problem. Here I am, contracting. How awful!”
Be it so RESOLVED: I will do at least one thing that scares me every week.
Sadly, it does not take much to scare me, so this is easier than it seems. I am not scared of bodily harm. I could skydive easily. I rather like rock climbing and white-water rafting, but you other people with your own thoughts, you are terrifying. You might even NOT LIKE me. And then it’s possible I would DIE, from not being sufficiently charming and smart to have EVERYONE like me.
BUT I have enrolled in Gender Studies 101 with a bunch of terrifying 18 year olds, and I have found that I can speak out even though I feel like I have no right no be there being a faculty member and, no exaggeration needed, the oldest person in the room besides the professor by a fair few years. After several weeks of class, I am waaaay less intimidated, but I was, and now I am not, because I registered instead of making excuses. So yay!
Join me if you like. I might even post here more, because I am mostly terrified of all of you judging me and my possibly drab and shallow writing. (Don’t think I’m not afraid of telling you all how afraid I am, because I am.)